Art - Procrastination

I have one more piece to finish for my series. It's due by February 10th.

All I want to do is relax, read a book, and play with my new kitty, Morgan.

So, I analyzed my procrastination, and figured I'd compile what I found here, and see what I can find specifically for artists.

The first thing I realized, when I typed "Artist procrastinator" into Google, is that there are as many different ways to combat this beast as their are artists. It feels very much to me like that saying, "All roads lead to Rome." Basically, there are a ton of different paths and techniques to overcome this. The start of any of them depends on the person. Ultimately, you have to WANT to achieve whatever you're putting off. If it is something you don't want or need to do, the drive will never be there to do it.

Let me lay out some theories, links for further reading on them, and summaries:

Structured Procrastination: Just that. Using procrastination to its advantage by giving it structure. Then, you can argue that it's a "technique".

Procrastination - How to Overcome It: Has a couple of techniques for getting every bit of your day out of your day, along with how to combat avoiding a task.

Waiting For The Muse: 4 tips for procrastinating artists: Good tips, especially number 4. (As I find a place to stash my iPod)

Unlearning The Art of Procrastination:"Procrastination is a habit, which means it’s something we learn, then do it so automatically we don’t even realise we’re doing it until it’s too late..."

How to Be a Productive Procrastinator: Really good radio interview on NPR with transcript with Dr. Timothy Pychyl regarding perfectionism and procrastination, specifically with artists.

So, take a look. I'm going to make some tea, get out my pencils, and damnit, I'm going to get this piece done tonight!

-Me

Art - The Series

I learned about the idea of people doing a series for art years ago. But I decided to finally do so. I'm going to post what I have so far in my "Strong Women of Sci Fi TV" series.

Before you get too critical, these are poor photos taken of 11x14 drawings done in graphite on sketch board. All done in 2012.

The first, drawn after finally finishing "Battlestar Galactica" on Netflix, is "Starbuck"

 The second, from "Firefly" and the movie "Serenity" is "Zoe".

Third is "Scully" from the older series "X Files" (some have argued this to not be sci fi, but since I'm holding the pencil, and it's my series, I have the say. So there.)

The series isn't done yet, but I wanted to talk about my choice of topic.

I don't JUST watch sci fi TV, however, when I do, I often get drawn to these roles, this template. I think it's directly due to my upbringing. To me, this series is a making of those whom I feel (as fictional characters) uphold the values of strength.

Often times in this society, a "strong" woman is automatically labelled a "bitch". She stands up for herself, "Oh, she's a bitch." She stands up for her choices, "Stupid bitch." She defends her family or her partner, "Close minded bitch." She leads people at work, "God, my boss is suck a bitch!"

It's a shame that even with the amount of equality we have, that we still don't REALLY have it. When a man has those qualities, he's not automatically assumed to be an asshole. He has to actually do something mean to be put in that label. But strength in a woman labels her a bitch.

So my series is a tribute to "bitches" in sci fi TV. Strong characters, written to be controversial, or sometimes weak even while giving a bravado. Human characters.

-Me

I Can Explain It To You... But I Can't Make You Understand It

So, I work as a dispatcher for tech support. This week was a very, highly busy week. We were totally inundated with requests. People needing help on a level that was unheard of.

Our techs helped, our admins helped. NO-ONE complained. Not the people needing help frantically, not the workers (some of which were on OT on days off, or coming in at ridiculously early hours). I realized:

I am f*cking blessed.

How many people work for a company where they are not only treated with respect on good days, but ON BAD DAYS, TOO??

It drive home exactly how privileged I am. I really hope that never changes, and only grows. Amazing.

-Me

I love ferrets.

I can't really describe why this is the case. I had a pet ferret, Crookshanks, and he's the only ferret I've had grace my home.

That was a random piece of trivia.

I'm trying to decide what to do with this blog. While sharing my feelings with myself in order to vent them is pretty cool, it's going to get old real fast because, well, unless something is happening to me or with me, I'm pretty chill and my feelings are pretty relaxed.

I thought about maybe making this blog about my spiritual journey, but damn that's so weighty. I mean, I don't know if I want to bog down readers with the intricacies of my path.

I did tell my therapist that I would start journaling, detailing the progress I was making there. I don't really want that public.

So....

I'm thinking about detailing games, art and books. Three things I love.  I know there are a million blogs about those topics. But I don't care. It's what I'm interested in. :)

-Me

The Letter You Will (Probably) Never Read

Dear James,

While you will never read this, I wanted to type it out in the hopes that doing so will prove therapeutic for me.

It's been several months since you shocked all who knew you by making a terribly immoral decision. Added to that shock is how irrelevant the emotions and well being of all who love and trusted you seemed to become to you. In one fell swoop, you chose to walk away from 27 years of hard work instead of working to fix it, chose to bed an absolutely abhorrent "woman" (I use the term loosely), chose to tell those who reacted in shock and dismay to "get over it" and "deal with it", and effectively destroyed a tight knit and loving family who were under the mistaken impression that you cared about them.

It seems to me that you are mistaken in thinking that people are upset that you left Angel, and that's why they're reacting. Let me explain that while that's an upset (you did seem to be with your soul mate in my eyes, and seemed to genuinely love her), the real issue at hand for the people who love (or loved, depending on how hurt they are now) you, is that you decided to become an adulterer. 

Here in the good ole' U.S.of A., getting a divorce is like buying toilet paper. Anyone can do it. Hell, it's one of the most popular things to do (with cheating being just below that on the list of relationship fuck ups). So, why then, throw all moral face to the wind, and show your sons how NOT to treat a person whom you've loved and cherished for 27 years? Why cause such turmoil when it's SO EASY to just do it "right" and get the papers?

I have a theory about that.

See, since you were a teenager, you've been playing "good guy" and "white knight" to Angel's "damsel in distress". It's a lot of pressure to always be the good guy. To always be the provider and the saver of the day. Add to that some kids and the economic well being of the household, and you have a highly pressurized arena to fail. There's no thriving when there's constant pressure. 

So you had some issues come up as your kids got into their teen years. Your oldest made some hard choices, and eventually came out on top. Your house got taken, your son moved out, your wife began drinking once she lost her oldest to talk to. A lot of negative change was swirling around. It makes even the most noble of white knights pale to think about. And you were the one who was supposed to fix it all.

Except you weren't the ONLY one.

See, you put this pressure on yourself, and told your wife that it was the reality. So then she put that pressure on you, too. However, if you'd told her, "Hey, I can't be the only one holding us up here, I'm crumbling", then she would have had to step up, too. But white knights don't ask for help.

Your answer when the pressure got too much? Not a divorce, no sir. Going rogue. That's what a noble person does when they snap. They "go rogue". They cease to be honorable people. And that's what you've done. And guess what?? In your mind, you're still good! Because you know what's going on in your head. But the rogue you're becoming is pushing everyone away, and delights in causing pain, because you've been forced to heal pain for SO LONG NOW. The rogue you've become is hyper critical, abusive, manipulative, and likes to present a double standard (I should be allowed to say whatever hurtful things I want, but when someone else does, I rant and rave, and continually harass them via phone call).

So, you have reasons for what you've done? That's fine. It doesn't make your actions right. You're being immoral. You're hurting people. You're being selfish. And you know, in the end, you'll end up alone because of it. Because that's what happens to rogues, they end up alone.

Your "pretty" piece of ass is a cheater. She will cheat on you. She's also abusive to you and those around her. Don't get me started on what cancerous past has created the person who've decided to stick your dick into.

Congratulations: you've just ruined all you worked a quarter of a century for.

-Me