Dear James,
While you will never read this, I wanted to type it out in the hopes that doing so will prove therapeutic for me.
It's been several months since you shocked all who knew you by making a terribly immoral decision. Added to that shock is how irrelevant the emotions and well being of all who love and trusted you seemed to become to you. In one fell swoop, you chose to walk away from 27 years of hard work instead of working to fix it, chose to bed an absolutely abhorrent "woman" (I use the term loosely), chose to tell those who reacted in shock and dismay to "get over it" and "deal with it", and effectively destroyed a tight knit and loving family who were under the mistaken impression that you cared about them.
It seems to me that you are mistaken in thinking that people are upset that you left Angel, and that's why they're reacting. Let me explain that while that's an upset (you did seem to be with your soul mate in my eyes, and seemed to genuinely love her), the real issue at hand for the people who love (or loved, depending on how hurt they are now) you, is that you decided to become an adulterer.
Here in the good ole' U.S.of A., getting a divorce is like buying toilet paper. Anyone can do it. Hell, it's one of the most popular things to do (with cheating being just below that on the list of relationship fuck ups). So, why then, throw all moral face to the wind, and show your sons how NOT to treat a person whom you've loved and cherished for 27 years? Why cause such turmoil when it's SO EASY to just do it "right" and get the papers?
I have a theory about that.
See, since you were a teenager, you've been playing "good guy" and "white knight" to Angel's "damsel in distress". It's a lot of pressure to always be the good guy. To always be the provider and the saver of the day. Add to that some kids and the economic well being of the household, and you have a highly pressurized arena to fail. There's no thriving when there's constant pressure.
So you had some issues come up as your kids got into their teen years. Your oldest made some hard choices, and eventually came out on top. Your house got taken, your son moved out, your wife began drinking once she lost her oldest to talk to. A lot of negative change was swirling around. It makes even the most noble of white knights pale to think about. And you were the one who was supposed to fix it all.
Except you weren't the ONLY one.
See, you put this pressure on yourself, and told your wife that it was the reality. So then she put that pressure on you, too. However, if you'd told her, "Hey, I can't be the only one holding us up here, I'm crumbling", then she would have had to step up, too. But white knights don't ask for help.
Your answer when the pressure got too much? Not a divorce, no sir. Going rogue. That's what a noble person does when they snap. They "go rogue". They cease to be honorable people. And that's what you've done. And guess what?? In your mind, you're still good! Because you know what's going on in your head. But the rogue you're becoming is pushing everyone away, and delights in causing pain, because you've been forced to heal pain for SO LONG NOW. The rogue you've become is hyper critical, abusive, manipulative, and likes to present a double standard (I should be allowed to say whatever hurtful things I want, but when someone else does, I rant and rave, and continually harass them via phone call).
So, you have reasons for what you've done? That's fine. It doesn't make your actions right. You're being immoral. You're hurting people. You're being selfish. And you know, in the end, you'll end up alone because of it. Because that's what happens to rogues, they end up alone.
Your "pretty" piece of ass is a cheater. She will cheat on you. She's also abusive to you and those around her. Don't get me started on what cancerous past has created the person who've decided to stick your dick into.
Congratulations: you've just ruined all you worked a quarter of a century for.
-Me
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